Challenge Entry 5: Shipped!
by Zokusho
Summary: "While traveling, the Light Music Club gets lost!" was the theme for the 5th challenge on Mostly Lucky Star Forum. Or so I thought. Anyway, that's what this story is about.


**Fan Fiction Challenge 5: Shipped!**

This is a story written for the 5th challenge on Mostly Lucky Star Forum. The theme this time is: "_While traveling, the Light Music Club gets lost!" _I still think the original challenge post had that theme. I copy-pasted it right away and never looked at the first post, which was then changed. Anyway, since this qualifies, it doesn't matter.

It is forbidden to read this fan fiction unless you give a review. Just kidding. I have a review phobia anyway.

I don't own K-On! or the characters. (You probably guessed because there's no yuri in it.)

* * *

"Woo! A cruise! On a luxury cruise ship!" Ritsu shouted the sixth time.

"Yes, we know," Mio sighed.

Mio tried not to sound excited, but in truth she was thrilled. They were standing on the pier and the ship – no, it couldn't even be called a ship, it was a floating city, stretching for what seemed like miles into both directions. The blue side wall of the vessel towered above them like a skyscraper. Huge white letters stated the ship's name: TITANIA.

Yui turned her gaze up, and then tilted her head back, until she started to stagger. Azusa grabbed her arm before she fell. "Yui-senpai, what's wrong?"

"I tried to count all the floors … so sleepy …" Yui muttered.

Azusa looked at her with disbelief. Wasn't it counting sheep that makes people sleepy? Anyway, the number of floors – or should they be called decks – the ship had was staggering. They joined the line of people in the boarding passageway.

Mio poked Ritsu's arm and asked, "Ritsu, can you remind me … why did we have to wear our school uniforms?"

"Oh. Did I say we had?" Ritsu asked, scratching her head.

"Yes, you did!" Mio groaned.

"Why?"

"That's what I asked you!"

Many of the other passengers had turned stare at them. Partly because it was rare to see high school girls on a ship like this. Most of the other passengers were senior citizens or businesspeople.

"Yes, I wonder why," Tsumugi said. "It's not like this trip is associated with school …"

She had won a luxury cruise, "A Romance on the High Seas" in the lottery at the mall. Strangely, it was "for five people". She had decided not to exchange it into a plush toy which she had rather taken, but instead offered to take her band mates to this trip.

Finally, they got on board, presented their tickets, and had given key cards into their cabin.

"Deck eight?" Ritsu said, turning the map in her hands. "This way!" she announced, and started walking towards the stairs going down.

The others picked up their luggage and started following, until Azusa noted, "Ritsu-senpai, this is deck six! Shouldn't we go upstairs?"

"Oh. I was holding this upside down," Ritsu said, and turned the map around. "This way!" she added, this time walking towards the elevator.

Fifteen minutes later, they were on deck eight, still walking along the corridors.

"This way!" Ritsu announced, and turned left.

"Stop, stop! Are you sure?" Mio groaned.

"Let me think … no. In fact, we may have gotten a bit lost," Ritsu admitted.

"What do you mean, a bit lost?"

"Wait a moment, let's walk to the end of this corridor …" Ritsu said and hurried forward.

The others sighed, picked up their luggage again, and followed. After what felt like another mile, they finally ended up in a T-junction of corridors.

"Okay! Now I know!" Ritsu exclaimed.

"Good. So where's our cabin?" Mio asked.

"I mean now I know that I have almost absolutely no idea where we are," Ritsu explained.

Ritsu quickly jumped away from Mio, who was about to strangle her or at least smack her onto the head.

Fortunately, a nearby door opened and a stewardess stepped out, making Mio forget about Ritsu for now.

"I … I mean … we are saved!" Ritsu yelled. "Miss Stewardess, could you please tell us where our cabin is…"

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"Finally!" Yui groaned, and fell down onto the carpet, face down. "So tired …"

The stewardess had guided them into their cabin at the opposite end of the deck. Ritsu turned the map around again and exclaimed, "A-ha! Now I see!"

"No, you don't see!" Mio yelled.

The stewardess said, "You could just have followed the signs."

They looked at each other. "Don't look at me!" Azusa groaned. "I was just following Ritsu-senpai!"

"Now, if you would excuse me –" the stewardess was interrupted by Mio. "Hold on, please! What's this?"

Mio pointed at the bed.

"Standard family cabin. A single double bed for the married couple and extra beds for children …" the stewardess said. "Oh. Just a moment."

She took out her radio phone and spoke into it for a while. "Right. It seems that we have been misinformed. We were told you are a 'family of five people'."

"Just a group of five people, not family!" Mio corrected.

"I understand, but all the other cabins are already occupied. We can only apologize for the inconvenience."

The stewardess bowed and left the cabin.

"Weird. That wasn't very polite, was it?" Azusa muttered. She sighed and placed her suitcase onto the bed. "Now, Yui-senpai – why did you take your guitar with you?" she asked.

"I could never leave Gitah behind! Gitah needs vacation as much as we do! … oh, hey, Azu-nyan!" Yui raised her head and stared at her _kouhai_.

"What, what?" Azusa asked, looking around and behind her.

"Who are you going to share that bed with? She said it's for a married couple," Yui said, and clambered up from the floor.

Azusa's cheeks turned crimson. "M-married – no, I wasn't reserving this bed! I just put my suitcase on it! It didn't mean anything!"

"Azu-nyan! I will marry you, I mean, share the bed with you!" Yui yelled, and jumped onto Azusa so that they fell onto the silk sheets. Yui clung onto Azusa and rubbed her face against hers, muttering, "Azu-nyan, Azu-nyan …"

"Aww, cute," Tsumugi sighed. "Well, I guess we must use the extra beds, then."

"What, those? Those are way too small for Mio!" Ritsu said.

Mio gritted her teeth, and hissed, "So I'm some fat, lumbering giant? But … I-I did want to sleep on the bed … with Azusa …"

"Mio, you can sleep with us both!" Yui suggested.

"Um … could I also sleep with you three?" Tsumugi asked.

"Of course, Mugi-chan! You can sleep with us any time! The more the merrier!"

Yui opened her arms, beckoning Mio and Tsumugi to join her on the bed.

"O-oh. Okay!" Tsumugi said, and lied down in between Yui and Azusa. Yui wrapped her arms around Tsumugi and squeezed her. "Mm … Mugi-chan is so warm!" Yui sighed.

Mio looked at the floor and wrung her hands. As much as she wanted to go, it was too embarrassing.

"Mio-senpai … please come …" Azusa muttered.

"Yeah! Mio, you can come too!"

"I-I can? Is it really okay …?"

"Mio-chan!" Yui pleaded.

"Yes, we all would like you to come," Tsumugi said.

Hesitatingly, Mio sat down on the edge of the bed. Yui and Tsumugi wrapped their arms around her and dragged her in. Yui clung onto her like a burr and buried her face deep into Mio's bosom.

"N-not there!" Mio groaned. She grabbed a pillow and smacked Yui on the head repeatedly, but it had no effect.

"Mm! So soft … and big!" Yui mumbled.

Ritsu glared at the girls wrestling on the bed. She looked rather irritated – nobody had asked _her_ to join. "Hey, guys, by the way … it's not sleep time. It's morning."

Yui raised her head and moaned, "Just a little longer!"

"Having fun is serious work! Stop fooling around. We must start planning!" Ritsu commanded.

"Mm!" Yui agreed, her face again buried in between Mio's breasts.

Ritsu threw her bag into a corner and took a pamphlet from the table.

"Let's see … they have casino, spa, golf course, fitness center, shops, library, cinema, indoor and outdoor swimming pools, Finnish sauna – what the heck is that? – onsen, gym, buffet restaurant, lounges, clubs, disco … and Takarazuka Revue is performing tonight," Ritsu listed.

Tsumugi got up from the bed so fast that the other three girls were thrown onto the floor. "Takarazuka Revue!" she shouted, and snatched the brochure from Ritsu. "I-I'm going to die!" she moaned, when she saw the page.

"Well you can't die now if you want to see it," Ritsu noted.

Mio, Azusa and Yui disentangled themselves and got up.

"Now I'm hungry. Can we try the buffet restaurant first?" Yui asked.

"It's not even lunchtime! I need to go shopping. I, uh, need a bigger bikini top …" Mio said, blushing slightly.

"Pools! To the pools!" Ritsu yelled.

"All right!" Yui shouted, tried to give a high-five to Ritsu, but missed her palm. "Oops."

"I need to buy a new swimsuit too," Azusa said. "You two go ahead and we'll follow."

"Hmm …" Ritsu mumbled, and turned to stare at Mio. "On the other hand, let's go shopping first. Mio can try on bikini tops and we can say which one suits her the best."

Mio crossed her hands over her chest and groaned, "I don't want you to look!"

"Shopping sounds fun," Tsumugi said. "I could use a new bikini too. And maybe a dress … we should dress up for the revue."

"Ricchan in a dress…?" Yui muttered.

"I can't even imagine that," Azusa agreed.

"Shopping! To the shops!" Ritsu shouted.

"So noisy …" Mio sighed.

Ritsu kicked the cabin door open, startling a chambermaid pushing her cleaning cart. "Let's go! Time flies like an arrow!"

"What kind of flies are those?" Yui asked.

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They had an entire day of serious fun; shopping for hours, having fun at the pools for hours, scavenging huge amounts of food from the buffet, and finally, watching the revue.

Any dress Ritsu had tried on herself only looked weird, so they all had decided to wear their school uniforms at the end.

After all of this, the girls were understandably tired. Or, tired and high-strung.

"Mio, are you asleep?" Ritsu asked.

"I almost was, when you started talking _again!_" Mio groaned.

"Mio, it's cold. Come here and warm me up."

Mio was on the double bed with Yui, Tsumugi, and Azusa, while Ritsu had to sleep alone on one of the extra beds. She had acted tough and tried to look like it was no big deal.

"No."

"I'm not going to let you sleep until you come!"

"Shut up!"

"Mii-ooo! Mi-o! Mii –" Ritsu's whining stopped and the others woke up as well. There was a strange, vibrating sensation on the floor and a weird, long screeching and rumbling sound throughout the decks. The ship tilted unusually steeply, throwing Ritsu off of her bed. The other girls clung onto each other and held tight. Slowly, the ship tilted back, and swayed back and forth a couple of times.

"What was that?" Azusa gasped.

"An earthquake!" Ritsu yelled.

"An earthquake at sea?" Mio groaned.

"Tsunami?" Tsumugi suggested.

"Have you guys slept through all the classes? Tsunamis don't happen at the open sea," Azusa said.

A siren started to blare. They heard the sound of running feet and a lot of shouting and commotion.

"It is an emergency. The ship is on fire. Or sinking," Tsumugi said.

"Can't they delay that until morning? I don't want to get up …" Yui moaned.

Tsumugi sighed, got up and yanked the covers off of the other girls. "Sorry. We have to leave our luggage behind, exit the cabin, wear lifejackets, and go through the nearest emergency exit," she said, reading the instructions from the plaque.

The next fifteen minutes were blurry in their minds afterwards. There was a lot of panicking people running in all directions, frantic search of lifejackets – which they never managed to find – and finally they somehow found themselves outside, in an isolated side deck with no one else in sight. However, there was a small lifeboat hanging on the side of the ship. By now, the ship was tilting dangerously to that side, and they were obviously running out of time.

"Does anyone know how this lifeboat system works?" Mio asked.

They looked at each other.

"We'll just have to wing it," Ritsu said.

They never understood how Ritsu managed to do it, but soon the K-On club found themselves in the lifeboat, floating away from the ship.

They looked at the ship's lights going off, one by one, as the ship sank beneath the waves. Dozens of dimmer lights were also floating away from the ship, so most of the passengers were probably saved.

"Everyone else is floating that way," Yui noted.

"It can't be helped. We'll just have to wait till dawn …"

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Before dawn, all of them had fallen asleep despite having only hard wooden benches and fiberglass to sleep on.

Yui opened her eyes, stretched her limbs and checked that Gitah was okay. As she looked around she saw nothing but open sea all around them. All the other lifeboats had disappeared.

She whispered, "Azu-nyan? Are you awake? I'm thirsty … can we drink this water around here?"

Yui made a large sweep with her hand, indicating that she was talking about the sea.

"A frog in a well…" Azusa sighed. "No, it's salt water."

"I'll die of thirst!" Yui moaned.

Tsumugi's eyes popped open. "Oh, good morning, Yui-chan, Azusa-chan."

"Mugi-chan! We can't drink this water!" Yui moaned.

Mio woke up as well and rubbed her eyes. "What, where are the other lifeboats?"

"Oh … we don't have anything to drink!" Tsumugi stopped, looking thoughtful. "We must drink … our urine!"

The others cringed at the thought.

"No, no, that's disgusting!" Mio groaned.

"Mio … I'd like to drink yours …" Ritsu muttered.

"Why?" Mio yelled. "Why mine? – no, don't answer!"

"… too bad we don't have to, not yet … I have this big water bottle here. There was one beside the water cooler so I grabbed it when we were running …" Ritsu yawned and pointed at a big plastic bottle full of water. "It's five gallons or so …"

"Ritsu, you saved us!" Yui yelled, and jumped over to Ritsu, embracing her into a hug. "But …"

"But what?"

"Now I'm hungry. No, not hungry. I'm starving! I wish Ui was here to cook us breakfast!" Yui exclaimed.

"We can survive without food for a few days," Mio noted.

Yui let go of Ritsu and slumped down onto the bottom of the boat. "Days! I'll die of hunger!"

Tsumugi looked thoughtful again. "We don't have any fishing equipment … so, the only food we have is … us."

"What! Do you mean … we must eat one of us?" Mio gasped.

"Yes. People have done that to survive," Tsumugi explained.

"I didn't think you could come up with anything_ more_ disgusting than that … drink!" Mio groaned.

"Well, Mio is the biggest! I say we eat her," Ritsu suggested.

Mio gasped in horror and crouched down. "Why, why me!"

"I think Mio will be delicious!" Yui exclaimed. She licked her lips and stared at Mio.

"Eww! Guys!" Mio shouted.

"Mio-senpai … I'm sorry, but … I think I agree," Azusa said. "You have the most, uh … flesh, to eat."

"Azusa! How can you betray me like that! And isn't Mugi as big as me? Why don't we eat Mugi?" Mio said, and pointed at Tsumugi.

"Please, go ahead," Tsumugi said, and bowed. "I'd be very honored if you eat me first."

"Well? There you go," Mio said.

"But Mio is also the biggest eater of us all. So, we'll survive longer if we start with Mio," Ritsu explained. "What do you guys think?"

"Well, Mugi-chan is sweet and tender … and her eyebrows are like pickled radish. I can't decide! Could we have both?" Yui asked.

"Now, now, don't be greedy, Yui-senpai," Azusa complained.

"Ahem. May I suggest a compromise?" Tsumugi said. "Let's start with Mio, but you can eat me as a dessert if you're still hungry. Does that sound okay?"

They looked at each other. "Sounds good." – "Okay." – "Yes, Mugi-senpai. That's a good plan."

"Okay, then, Mio," Ritsu said. "We'll start with you! Take your skirt and panties off and spread your legs!"

"I don't want to!" Mio yelled.

"Come on, we all agreed," Ritsu said, and started to yank at Mio's skirt.

"_I_ didn't agree! Stop it!" Mio yelled, and knocked the top of Ritsu's head with her knuckles. Yui and Azusa grabbed Mio's arms. "Mio-chan, please. We are starving!" – "Sorry, Mio-senpai. But this is a majority decision," they explained. "Noo! Nobody has ever touched me there! You can't!" Mio screamed and struggled violently.

"Land ahoy!" Tsumugi shouted.

The others forgot what they were doing and looked up. Indeed, a green stripe of some sort could be seen in the horizon.

"We are saved!" Ritsu yelled. "Guys, raise the sail, quickly! We've got tailwind!"

Yui looked around. "Ricchan, we don't have a sail…"

"Use your clothes then!"

"What, we can't ruin our school uniforms!" Mio groaned.

"Come on, Mio. For once we have a legitimate reason to do just that!" Ritsu yelled, and groped at Mio's clothes. "Stop! Fine, fine! I'll take it off myself!" Mio yelled, and slapped Ritsu's hand.

Azusa's cheeks had turned red and she looked flustered. "What's wrong, Azu-nyan?" Yui asked, and hugged Azusa briefly, just in case she needed a hug.

"I can't take my shirt off …" Azusa whispered. "I'm … not wearing a bra …"

"Hey, everyone, Azu-nyan isn't wearing any underwear!" Yui yelled.

"Nice, but let's discuss that later! We've got to get to that island!" Ritsu shouted. She had already taken her skirt and jacket off and was unbuttoning her shirt.

"I happened to have a sewing kit in my pocket," Tsumugi said. "And we can use these oars as a mast."

"We can use Gitah as that, that thing with which you steer a boat …" Yui said.

"Rudder," Tsumugi explained. "That's a good idea."

"Yui-senpai, isn't Gitah … I mean your gitar going to be ruined if you put it into the water?" Azusa asked.

"Not at all! I've always bathed with Gitah," Yui said. "And he's perfectly fine. I'm even taking him to a tour of a hundred famous _onsen_ in Japan!"

"You mean you're using bath salts," Mio sighed.

"Exactly! That was salt water, this is salt water, so Gitah will be okay," Yui claimed. She handed her clothes to Tsumugi – revealing character printed underwear – and started to move to the aft of the boat, carrying Gitah with her.

"Ritsu, why are you wearing a bikini under your uniform?" Mio asked.

Ritsu had misplaced her headband, so she tied a strip of cloth around her head to keep her hair in check. "I thought we were going to loiter at the swimming pools all day. Weigh anchor!"

Mio looked thoughtful. "Why were we wearing our uniforms anyway? It was the middle of the night when the ship sank … shouldn't we be wearing pyjamas?"

"Never mind all that now, Mio!" Yui yelled, sounding almost angry. "Just help Mugi with the sail. I want to reach that island quickly and find something to eat!"

Azusa had turned away from the others. There was a bright red tint on her cheeks as she was handing her shirt to Tsumugi, while carefully covering her chest with her free hand.

"Azu-nyan, which way is south?" Yui asked.

"Hm, since the sun is rising from that direction, south is that way –" Azusa said, and pointed to said direction.

The other girls let out a collective sigh as they stared at Azusa's exposed chest. Azusa let out a little scream and quickly covered herself again.

"So perky!" Tsumugi said admiringly.

"Guys! Stop teasing me! This is embarrassing enough already!" Azusa groaned.

"Arr! We've bathed together before, mate!" Ritsu noted. "I can take me bikini off it that makes ye feel more relaxed?"

"No. It won't."

Ritsu untied her bikini top and dropped it. "Mio, yer turn. Smartly! Ye got the finest pirate booty I've ever laid me eyes on! Arr!"

"What! No! And why are you talking like that?" Mio groaned, and tried to cover her 'booty '– an impossible feat even for her large hands.

Ritsu pointed at Mio. "Ahoy! Looks like there be barnacles stuck onto yer brassier, mate!"

Mio screamed, practically tore her bra off, and threw it into the sea.

"There it goes," Yui said. "Bye-bye, Mio's bra! Maybe your bra will float all the way to America. And someone there will use it, since your boobs are American size."

Mio grabbed Ritsu's bikini top and flung it into the sea, before Ritsu had time to react. "Hey! That was my new bikini!" Ritsu yelled, forgetting the pirate slang.

"Serves you right, 'mate'," Mio muttered.

Tsumugi placed down the sail she was sewing, took off her bra, and threw it into the ocean as well.

"Why did you do that, Mugi-chan?" Yui asked.

"Out of solidarity," Tsumugi said, and returned to her needlework.

"I'm with you, guys!" Yui exclaimed, and added her bra into the group of floaters.

"This was a stupid thing to do … we are going to get sunburns," Mio sighed. "Painful ones."

"Shouldn't we be more worried about all this…?" Azusa muttered. The way they had been behaving seemed somehow odd, now that she thought about it. As if they all had caught something from Yui or Ritsu.

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They improvised a mast and a boom using the oars for their sail, patched together from school uniforms.

"It's great that we have such nice weather," Tsumugi noted.

"Weird. Why is it so warm now? The night was warm too … and we were supposed to be somewhere in the Northern Pacific Ocean," Azusa muttered.

"Hey, whose panties are in there?" Mio groaned. Indeed, there was a pair of character printed panties flying on top of their improvised mast.

Ritsu turned around, facing Mio, raised one leg onto the bench, and leaned her arm onto her knee. She was exposing the evidence about her missing panties in plain sight. Ritsu winked an eye and clicked her tongue twice.

Mio, who had instantly turned bright red, quickly looked away from Ritsu. "Don't do that!"

"It had skulls and crossbones, so of course I had to," Ritsu explained.

"Why would anyone have panties printed with skulls and crossbones …" Mio sighed. "No, never mind!"

The tailwind carried them to the island in a matter of few hours. Ritsu killed time making Mio blush by "accidentally" exposing herself in various poses. Azusa had to handle steering since Yui was falling asleep and almost dropped Gitah into the ocean.

With the palm trees, white sandy beach, crystal clear blue waters, and a waterfall on the cliffs beyond the lush, deep green jungle, the place looked like a virtual paradise.

Yui, shaken awake by Azusa, noted, "Looks nice!"

"Looks uninhabited," Mio sighed.

"Hey! There is a building over there!" Ritsu shouted.

They turned to look, and, indeed, they saw a glimpse of a tile roof behind the trees, a few hundred yards from the shore.

"Weird. Why would there be a building in this place?" Azusa asked.

Tsumugi gasped, "It's our summer house!"

"What!" the others gasped. "Impossible!" – "No way!"

"No, no! It is true. Our biggest summer house is on an island. This must be it!" Tsumugi exclaimed.

"That's … totally improbable!" Mio muttered.

"Well, what else could it be?" Tsumugi asked.

"What, aren't you certain?" Ritsu asked.

"I haven't been to this place yet. I have only seen photographs. But, yes, I think this is it," Tsumugi confirmed. "My family owns this island. Usually we take the private yacht or the helicopter …"

"Damn bourgeois," Ritsu muttered.

"What?"

"Damn nice place you've got here, Mugi!" Ritsu said aloud.

"I hope it's not reserved. If it is, we have to build a hut," Tsumugi said.

"Surely they will offer hungry, poor, and sunburned castaways at least place to sleep in?" Azusa asked. She grimaced as she touched certain parts of her upper body.

The boat scraped against the bottom and stopped, ten or so feet from the beach.

"Looks like we've reached the shores! Let's pull the boat ashore," Ritsu commanded.

"Aye-aye, Ricchan!" Yui exclaimed and pulled Gitah out of the water. "Gitah, I hope you didn't swallow too much sea water!"

"Is that a barnacle?" Ritsu asked, and pointed at Yui's guitar.

Mio screamed, jumped off the side of the boat and splashed down into the two feet deep water.

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"Yes," Tsumugi said. "This is definitely our summer house. Let's see if there's anyone home."

"Sorry for the intrusion!" they yelled as they opened the door and stepped in.

The living room looked so big that Yui's entire home could fit in easily.

"Aloha!" a bright girl's voice said.

They turned around and saw a young girl with her brown hair tied into a ponytail, decorated with a large, colorful tropical flower. The girl was barefoot, wearing a grass skirt – and nothing else. Below her bare chest, she was holding a tray full of food and drinks: rice balls, plates of sashimi, and several pineapple halves full of drink, complete with straws and little paper umbrellas. She also carried garlands of flowers on her other arm, and one garland around her own neck.

And the girl was Ui Hirasawa.

Yui's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets as she saw her little sister. Drool started to drip from the corner of her mouth. Skillfully, Ui balanced the tray with one hand and pulled a tissue from the inside of her skirt. "Yui, come here, I'll wipe your mouth," she said.

"Ui! Ui? How come you are here?" Azusa gasped.

"Yui's little sister! This is impossible!" Mio yelled.

"This is truly a miracle," Tsumugi sighed. She looked like she was about to drool as well. Her cheeks had developed a slight blush.

"It's quite simple really … but also rather complicated … first, I must tell you –" she stopped as Yui staggered towards her, grabbed a rice ball, and stuffed it into her mouth. "Mmm!" she could only mumble with her mouth filled to the brim.

"Oh, you were drooling because of the food…" Ui sighed. "Sis, you shouldn't wolf down food like that. Let's sit down and eat. I bet you all must be starving."

"Oh yeah! We didn't get to eat Mio and Mugi," Ritsu noted.

Ui took a puzzled look at Ritsu, shrugged her shoulders, and placed the tray onto the table. "First, you must wear these!"

She hanged one garland around Ritsu's neck. "Here you are."

"Thanks, but why?" Ritsu asked.

"Because this is a tropical paradise island," Ui explained.

"That didn't explain why!" Azusa groaned. But she took the garland. She realized that she was still topless, so at least the garland would cover her chest.

"Anyway, eat these starters now, because the feast will take some time to cook," Ui explained.

"Feast?" Mio asked.

"For the celebration," Ui said, and turned away.

"Wait, wait! What are we celebrating?" Mio groaned.

"Your arrival, of course. Didn't you win 'A Romance on the High Seas'? A romance also means an adventure. And you got a big adventure when the ship sunk. After colliding with an iceberg," Ui explained.

"An iceberg? Was it an iceberg?" Azusa asked.

"Excuse me … what? Are you saying they sunk the ship only for us, so that we could have an adventure?" Mio gasped.

They looked at each other.

"Impossible," Azusa said.

"Perhaps it was just a simulation?" Ui asked. "Anyway, I have to turn the roast."

"Roast?"

"If you'd like to see it, follow me."

They grabbed rice balls and drinks from the tray and followed Ui to the backyard.

A large table had been set onto the terrace, with an abundance of tropical fruits in bowls, a big rice cooker full of steaming rice, several pitchers full of various iced drinks, and several other pans, pots, kettles and containers full of food.

Next to the terrace, there was a large pit on the ground, full of hot coals. Above this fire pit was a whole small pig, skewered through with an iron spit, complete with an apple in its mouth. Ui took a bowl of sauce and spread it onto the pig's skin with a long brush. Then, she turned the crank so that the basted side was nearest to the coals.

"Aww. Poor Piggy-chan!" Yui sighed. "Did it hurt when they stuck that metal thing up to your –"

Mio screamed and covered her ears. "Noo!"

"I don't think it was alive at that point," Ritsu noted.

"It doesn't look that unhappy," Tsumugi said. "It looks like it's smiling."

"Piggy-chan does smell good! Are you happy, Piggy-chan?" Yui asked.

"So, Ui-chan, how come you are here?" Ritsu asked.

Ui put the bowl down, wiped her hands, and said, "As I said earlier … it's quite simple, really, and at the same time, rather complicated –"

"Oh, I am very happy!" the roasted pig – aka Piggy-chan – exclaimed. The apple fell off of its mouth. "And welcome to _lū'au_. I suggest tasting my hams. There's a lot of good, juicy meat down there!"

The girls' jaws fell open. Mio screamed, crouched down and tried to block her both ears and eyes.

"Th-that roasted pig just talked!" Ritsu gasped.

"I can't eat something that talks!" Tsumugi yelled.

"Isn't it better to eat someone you know wants to be eaten?" Piggy-chan asked.

"Piggy-chan, you aren't supposed to talk anymore," Ui said, and wagged a finger at the animal.

"Sorry. I just wanted them to know about the good parts," Piggy-chan said. "Oh, my ribs should also be delicious. The best tasting meat is near the bones, you know."

"Hush," Ui hissed. "Anyway. As I was trying to say, it's quite simple, and yet, complicated –"

Mio clambered up. "T-this is not real. It's a dream! One of us is dreaming. Who is it? Tell me!"

"And you just had to say it! Very well. If you want to hear my story, it won't be from me!" Ui exclaimed. She turned and pointed at Ritsu. "Ritsu-senpai. You are going to wake up soon."

"What? Me?" Ritsu gasped.

"So all this was just Ritsu's dream!" Mio yelled. "That explains all the weird things."

"My dream? No, that's impossible. My dream wouldn't be like this!" Ritsu exclaimed. "As hot as Ui is, I wouldn't have dreamed of Yui's little sister topless. Mio topless, well, maybe, but –"

"Hey!" Mio groaned.

"This is not Ritsu-senpai's dream. This is actually my big sister's dream. You see, Yui is dreaming that you, Ritsu-senpai, are having a dream like this," Ui explained.

Fumes rose from Yui's head as she tried to comprehend that.

"Sis, it will be okay. You don't have to try to understand. When Ritsu wakes up, you just have to wake up as well," Ui said, and petted her sister's cheek. "But you, guys …" she added. "I made you sleep together in the same bed, placed you into a life-threatening situation, made you strip half-naked, and brought you into a tropical paradise. Five high school girls with raging hormones, who love to hang out with each other. So I expected to see some hot girl-on-girl action. Or at least confessions, and kissing. But you were completely clueless!"

"I'm sorry, Ui. We can have a more erotic dream together next time," Yui said.

"Yui, if I got this right … you are apologizing yourself," Ritsu said. "Oh, crap. I think I am going to wake up. Or Yui is dreaming that I am. Whatever. See ya later!"

Ritsu waved at them and faded away.

"Hey, don't go! You haven't tasted me yet!" Piggy-chan complained.

The tropical paradise around them crumbled like paper and everything went dark.

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Yui found herself sitting at her desk in their classroom. Sawako-sensei was standing next to her, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Hey, wait, I want to taste Piggy-chan! … oh, did I sleep in class?" Yui asked. "I mean, I wasn't sleeping! I was just resting my eyes!"

"Hirasawa-kun …" Sawako-sensei growled. "Sleeping in class is one thing, but you must wear clothes to school!"

Yui looked at herself and saw that she was entirely nude. Everyone else – all in proper school uniforms – stared at her with horror. "Sorry, sensei. Could you smack me on the head, please?"

"Certainly!" Sawako exclaimed, and chopped her on the top of her head with the edge of her hand, hard. It didn't hurt at all.

"That didn't hurt at all, so I think I'm still asleep. Ritsu's dream-dream is over, so this must be mine," Yui explained.

"What, you think this is a dream? I will not have my students dreaming up classes!" Sawako-sensei exclaimed.

"Sawa-chan-sensei, maybe if you kiss me, I will wake up!" Yui said. "Besides, Ui wanted some girl-on-girl action."

"I don't understand what you are talking about, but I guess it's okay," Sawako-sensei said. "Just don't tell anyone, okay?"

She didn't seem to remember the other students, although all of them looked like Ritsu now so it didn't matter.

Sawako licked her lips, bent down, tilted her head, and just as she was about to press her lips on Yui's, the noise woke her up.

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"Please! Not the luxury yacht! We don't need it! Just the rowboat, okay? Bye."

Tsumugi sighed, closed her cell phone and put it away.

"It's right! I say right!" Ritsu shouted.

Yui's eyes plopped open. "Sawa-chan-sensei?"

They were in Sawako-sensei's car, on the way to their third training camp. This time, Tsumugi had finally managed to reserve her family's biggest summer house. All were looking forward to seeing it. Ritsu had volunteered to read the map for Sawako-sensei, and, of course, they have gotten lost.

"No, if we turn right, we go back to where we came from!" Sawako-sensei yelled.

"Doesn't matter," Yui muttered. "We can't drive there anyway. It's in the middle of the sea."

Tsumugi took a puzzled look at Yui. "No, it's on mainland."

Yui flinched and started looking for her cell phone. "Oh! I have to call Ui. The roast pig is too … philosophical. She should fix something else."

"What roast pig? Why does Ui have a roast pig?" Azusa asked.

"She's roasting it for us at the summer house. Topless, and wearing only a grass skirt," Yui said, with longing eyes.

Ritsu had turned in the front seat to look at Yui. "What, the roast pig?"

"No, Ui is."

"Yui … maybe you like your little sister a bit _too_ much …" Mio sighed.

"No, I need to know – Sawa-chan-sensei was just about to kiss me …" Yui muttered.

"What!" Sawako-sensei gasped.

"So give me detention … it's okay not to wear any clothes when it's just the two of us … Ritsu, you can take your panties off again …" Yui muttered. She was quickly falling back asleep. "… and I never got a chance to taste Mio and Mugi either…"

"Hirasawa-kun! You are not allowed to have such dreams! Wake her up!" Sawako-sensei commanded.

Tsumugi rested her head on Yui's shoulder and closed her eyes.

"What are you doing, Kotobuki!"

"I'm trying to catch the same dream, sensei. A dream you dream together is reality," Tsumugi whispered.

"Bah. Hope it won't be a wet dream. I just got the upholstery cleaned," Sawako-sensei muttered, hit the gas pedal, and turned left at the intersection.

"What a terrible punchline, sensei," Ritsu muttered.

* * *

The plan was to start normally, and make it weirder and weirder, since it was a dream. I wonder how quickly people noticed that something was wrong – even for a crack fic. Some things were plain mistakes, though, such as Yui not getting seasick.

"A frog in a well cannot conceive the ocean." A Japanese proverb.

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This next scene couldn't fit in. I considered putting it first and then say, "34 hours earlier" or something, but that would have spoiled the story.

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Slowly, the sausage standing proudly erect in between Ui's palms approached Yui's drooling mouth. Yui sighed in delight as the thick, meaty baton slid in, making a soft squelching sound. Her lips squeezed tightly around the dark brown shaft as she tasted the dense flesh. She moaned in delight as she chewed the juicy meat. "Sis … don't take all that in your mouth at once …" Ui gasped.

On the other sun lounger, Mio was trembling in anticipation as Ritsu's fingers slowly and teasingly approached her quivering, moist meat loaf. "R-Ritsu … not with your fingers …" she sighed. But with a mischievous smile and in one swift movement, Ritsu sunk her fingers deeply into Mio's meat. "Aah!" she moaned. "It's hot!"

"I told you!" Mio groaned as Ritsu jerked her fingers back and sucked on them. As retaliation, Mio grabbed Ritsu's two soft mounds and squeezed gently. "Don't … that's so … dirty …" Ritsu sighed. "I just want to check whether these are ripe …" Mio whispered. The flesh under the suede skin of the peaches felt soft and cool to her touch.

Tsumugi fully indulged herself in oral pleasures, as she slid her tongue into the slippery, glistening and abundant juices of the crack of the split pineapple, which shamelessly exposed its secret, naked insides for everyone to see. She took a deep breath and dived in eagerly, tasting the sweet flesh and letting all the juices flow down her cheeks.


End file.
